Lisa Shearin, National Bestselling Author

"You might be a writer if . . ." contest

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For some Friday fun, and in homage to Jeff Foxworthy, I’ve come up with a writer’s version of his classic “You might be a redneck if. . .” (All the ones I’ve written below apply to me. Scary, huh?) And for fun, let’s keep adding to the list. Respond to the blog with your own “you might be a writer if. . .” And the one that makes me laugh out loud will win a totebag with the cover of Bewitched & Betrayed on it, with other assorted book goodies. You can keep adding comments to the blog throughout the weekend (in case you come up with more/funnier entries). I’ll pick the winner Sunday night and post their name on Monday morning — along with the Bewitched & Betrayed snippet of the week. Don’t email me with your entries, just put them in the COMMENTS section of this post — that way everyone can enjoy all of the entries.

Here’s my list. . .

You might be a writer if. . .

You sleep with pen and paper next to your bed — and the stove and the couch and the dining table and the shower and the toilet and the. . .

You have a favorite punctuation mark. My editor’s trying to wean me off of em dashes — good luck with that.

You have a favorite pen. Uniball Signo 207 with the comfi-grip in black ink. Uh, what do you mean there are other colors?

You get caught up in plotting your next scene and put the cereal in the fridge, and the milk in the pantry.

The stacks of your old manuscripts and rejection letters officially constitutes a fire hazard.

You desperately want Crayola tub markers so you can write down all that great dialog that comes to you in the shower.

You love restaurants that put a big sheet of paper over the table cloth and leave you with a handful of crayons.

You’re talking to a real, living, breathing person and suddenly stop and listen because one of your characters interrupted you.

You think sleep is way overrated. Who needs more than three hours anyway?

Your novels are backed up on your laptop, your husband’s laptop, two thumb drives, and you’re seriously toying with the idea of getting a safe deposit box.

And finally, you know your a writer if you look at yourself and see a writer. Everyone else looks at you and sees an obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive insomniac with a pen fetish.

Those are some of mine. Fess up and tell everyone some of yours. ; ) The entry I find the funniest wins the tote bag.

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